I feel so alone. And this is all my fault.

Lately, I’ve been going through rough waters with my family. No, against my family. It all started when this guy went to our house (he was my MU) and they got the wrong impression that I was leading the guy in. I was not. We had mutual feelings to each other. But the fact that I confessed first and I told them that–they didn’t like it. Then after a month, I met this guy again without telling my parents–we did nothing but just hang out while reviewing for an entrance exam tomorrow that day. I got home, and told them the truth. They obviously didn’t like it and became angry with me.

At the same time, my relationship with this guy was blurring out. We resolved it while in school, just by talking. We talked twice, and both times he was kissing me on the neck. On the second time, however, a guard crept up to that room and saw us while he was kissing me, having me laid down on the chairs. Note: we’re not having s**, just, I don’t know.

I got home one hour late than I should be, and I lied to my parents about the reason. They suspect, however. I kept my lie firm.

Months after, the guy and I went back to each other, and on that one time, he called me out on a Saturday to meet him in our school. I lied to my parents to meet him. When already there, we went a hidden place beside our school, sort of like a part with tall grass, beside the river dike there. And in that place, we sort of make out. I got home after and lied again to my parents when she asked me where I have been. I think she didn’t buy it, but I didn’t budge.

I lied so many times to my parents. My mom had read some of my writings about my broken feelings (because the guy I was telling you about just got on and off with me), including hints about those two scenes I mentioned above. She told me to cut off all contact with him, and I didn’t. When she asked about it, I lied again.

It was not the end of it. My parents also doesn’t support me with the courses I want. Another conflict for us. One time I posted on facebook about being ‘jailed’ by them, being dictated, you got the idea. They saw that and weren’t happy. I said sorry and deleted the post.

And then now, they didn’t allow me to come with friends on this trip. I became so angry with them, and at the same time sad. I reasoned out with them. They told me I’m rebelling. I countered that one, too. I think I let my emotions got out of control.

I feel so alone. I think I’m slowly being depressed, what with this emotional heart break with that guy, and about my failing relationship with my parents. And I know it’s all my fault. Since the facebook incident, I’m trying to make things right. But this time now, with the recent argument, I think my parents aren’t giving me a chance to set things right.

All my fault. I’m 15, and this all happened in span of 6 months. Help. What can I do?