I need encouragement from anonymous peers since I cannot approach my own family. My friend (male) and I (female) have known each other for merely two to three years. We were in a relationship nine months ago but I severed it because of my instability. I was afraid.

A week ago, he asked me (via text message) if I think about “us”. I hesitated on responding because I already knew my answer. “Yes, yes I do” is what I commented and he expressed the same thoughts.

My heart started rattling, my veins felt like ice and I could not breathe. I redirected the conversation because I did not want to feel it, I did not want to feel the loneliness.

I am afraid to get close because God took a friend away from me in June and I still can’t sleep. My family and friends do not know of her death.

I need your support because I do not want to be a lone in this. Perhaps asking a anonymous confession board is not the way to go but I cannot approach it to anyone else. Do not allow me to fall through the ice, please.

My intentions are to confront my friend about my fears. We both come from rough, similar backgrounds. Him and I have a temper, him more than I. Honestly, we are unstable behind brick walls. I understand our situation sounds reckless and headed for disaster but listen.

We have walked through rocky roads to get where we are now. I understand we need to work on ourselves, emotionally and mentally before discussing another relationship. Not only do I need to confront him on my fears but expressing what I feel about him. The reason I need support from you is the fear of being exposed, becoming transparent. It sounds odd but I do hope you understand my perspective.

If you have any questions, you can ask. Helpful feedback and/or encouragement is appreciated. Thank you.