It has just been a year of my marriage and I don’t want to carry on with this married life. It was a love marriage. We had a relation of 6 years. We married in a very bad tone. We were quarreling then, fighting everyday yet we couldn’t separate, so we thought of marrying thinking it is the only way out. However, as days are going by I think I am loosing myself deep within. I cant even wrap her in my arms like the way I used to. I pretend that I care for her but I know I don’t. I really regret and repent over the mistake I made. Sometimes I wish she was dead, while sometimes I feel like ending my life. Many foolish and vicious thoughts revolves around me. I had been trying real hard to make this relation go with ease. Went for a holiday with her, went for a weeks trek and ya bike ride almost every once in a week. But, it ain’t helping me out.
I have a friend in my work place. She is nice to me. We enjoy each others company and we also share our problems and try and sort it out for each other. But it remains inside and during office hours only. No such feelings as I am married which she knows and she is in a living relation which I know.
I ain’t saying that my wife isn’t good. She is the best of all. But then too I am worried and confused about my life with her and her’s with me.