i think im falling in love with my “friend with benefits” After i said no to our relationship growing in to something more, after i got back together with my bf of 5 years, after i slept with him twice more, after he told me that we can’t continue to see each other outside of work anymore because of the “moral issue”, and after i asked him what if i was single? what then, and all he could say was “ï don’t know, it gets complicated after that”
this being a guy who wants nothing more than to be in a relationship, who desperately wants a gf and has openly admitted that he wishes he could skip the whole 3 months of dating and immediately jump into that comfortableness and safety of being with someone who you know wants to be with you for the long haul. That he wishes he could meet someone who understands his crazy work schedule, that he doesn’t need to explain himself to, that gets him.
and i want to scream at him that i could be that person if only he had asked. if only i knew for sure that he wanted a relationship with me, not just the convenience of amazing s** with someone who you can talk about anything with. including the girls hes trying to date.
…but i cant. i made my choice, and now im drowning myself in the same lyrics over and over again
I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
…
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
…
I wish that we could see if we could be something
I don’t wanna waste the weekend
If you don’t love me pretend
A few more hours then it’s time to go
…I wonder how youll keep warm
It’s too late to cry
Too broken to move on
…
I was praying that you and me might end up together
It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I’m holding you closer than most ’cause you are my heaven
