10-07-10(15:45:53)

sadness, happiness, depression, love, hate; they’re all feelings each and every person have felt. i’m a normal person, i’ve been sad, i’ve been mad, i’ve been happy. but lately something strange has been happening. something too strange that i cant even describe by words. isnt it amazing when someone walks into your life and plants a new feeling inside your body? a feeling u’ve never been aware of before , an undescribable feeling.trust me, it is. it is the first time i get this feeling, i don’t know if anyone have ever felt it before, i don’t even know if this feeling has a name. this feeling is a mixture of love, excitement, depression, sadness, passion and pain. it is my favorite feeling, and now it paralyzed my body, it’s distributed throughout my whole body, through my veins, through every inch of blood. it makes me weak, it makes me ecstatic. when this feeling controls me, i forget about sleeping even if i really need it, i forget about food even if i’m starving, i forget about water, forget about taking a bath. all in all, it makes me forget about all the essentials in my life because it has become the most essential thing in my life. this feeling came along with this guy. they say perfection doesnt exist, but they’ve never been in my shoe, this guy is all about perfection. i’ve never felt such a rush about sitting with a guy and speaking to him but in his case i have. when i’m about to see or take a look at him, the feeling i mentioned above controls me again, my heart skips a beat, my chest and heart ache alot but i love the pain, i forget about breathing, my body starts shivering, and a smile curves on my face, and when i’m with him time flies, it really does.i’ve been in relationships before, and i’ve made mistakes, i used to care and think about all the physical stuff that happen between two lovers but with him? hell no. the feeling i used to get while kissing a guy is the same one i get just by SPEAKING to him. I fell, I fell really hard, I’m inlove, but it is not any kind of love, it is an unknown type of love. I’m depressed most of the time because I don’t know if he’s the one, I don’t if I’m taking things too fast with him, I really don’t want to be broken.I’m a messed up girl, each part of me is shattered in a different place but he is rejoining these shattered pieces and he’s making me whole again.

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