I have a confession to make. It’s one of which I steal muffins from Neighbors houses and I molest them with my finger and I like to make a hole in the muffin and stick my d*** in it and have s** with like its a chicks v*****. So basically I’m a muffin molester. I’m also a 40 year old virgin hasn’t seen action from a woman ever in my lifetime and probably will never ever see a woman take interest in me ever. And I live with my mother she doesn’t know about my dirty habit of getting the nasty on with muffins after I molest them with my finger. And by the way I pick on this one chick I really like who friend-zoned me and I call her a turd burglar and tell the neighbors that she is a turd burglar and that she eats turds. Because she s******* frustrated me and I don’t have the balls to ask her out on a date. So this is why I started that rumor about her being a turd burglar. But I also like to spy on her through her window because she doesn’t realize that I can see her through her window and I often see her naked through the window and I often m********* watching her.

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