I was in a relationship with a women who is 3 years older with me. We were good friends and even before I could understand her we developed emotions and friendship turned into a relationship which was both emotional and physical. But there were differences between our age, culture and mindset and I told her honestly that I will not be able to take a decision for her. Initially she understood and we decided to spend as much good time as we can. But due to some misunderstandings and mentality differences, slowly things became very bad between us. There were frequent fights which became more and more ugly. I started to feel very depressed in life and she also felt the same. My feelings for were not the same but still I cared for her as a friend. It has been 2 years now and for the last 1 year things have been good and we are together as friends. She has accepted the mistakes and asked me to move ahaead in life. But somewhere I have the guilt and regret of whatever happened between us and gone into very deep depression. I feel like that I had spoiled her life and she say’s she’ll never settle down in life. With this guilt I am unable to move ahead in my life and being in contact with her even as a friend and spending time together has not helped helped me to come out of guilt, regreat, depression and pain. I feel like my life has no meaning and I’m loosing time. I fight a battle of morals, ethics and values within myself. My parents and family are also unhappy as I’m not taking any decision to settle down in life but they don’t know about our past relationship. They just know that we are good friends which we are for sure. But somewhere this friendship has not allowed me to move on keeping the past behind. Moreover I fear that if I tell about my relation with anyone with whom I plan to get married, things might go wrong which will cause more pain and trouble and misery. I feel very helpless and don’t know how to come out of all this. Please help..!!
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