Hi,
I am getting married tomorrow to the love of my life. I am certain now.
I have always been steadfast in my own beliefs and principles, possibly to my detriment as this is what stubborn is.
I always thought to myself since young that I’d not marry young. At least until the 30s, as my parents always said to me when i was a kid, to have a stable job and finance and life 1st. I’m a dreamer, I was always searching, seeking for something which I don’t even know what it is or if it exists. But she was just the girl for me that I possibly been always looking for. She loves me with all her might. For all the flaws she sees in me. And i always know that i can treat her even better, and/or that she deserves someone better than me. I know. I was always living for a dream, taking on the world living at a moment at a time – just like the song The Search Is Over by Survivor.
But before tomorrow comes, I have a secret that I want to confess. A secret that’s been kept in me, one desire and lust that I realised I’ve been harbouring since perhaps when I hit puberty. I desire and fantasize about older women. Much much older mature women. Grannies even. I dont know why I am like this. I thought this was just a phase when i was a teenager and it would pass when i grow much older that I’d start to lust for younger women more. I do love women my age. even younger girls now that I grow older. But not really young girls. However, I always lust for s** with an older women. A curvaceous chubby and even white haired women. I dont know why i feel this way. I feel guilty for having such desires. I dont know if this is right or wrong. I have s***** fantasies about grannies. Not to have a lifelong relationship with them. Just lust. And I have not tried this before. I thought i would at least do it once before i get married. But i guess the chance is over now. If i do it in the future itd be cheating. And i dont want that. Nobody knows this side of me except me. This is the first time im saying this out. I hope only now that as me and her age, i would have my fantasy achieved with an older her and we will live our s** lives to the fullest without me feeling guilty.
