The first time i felt so f****** in love. This started July 2016, i was a new student, i met this guy and he said to me “hey you’re the new student right?” Then when i looked into him there’s like a f****** click oh this man is gorgeous mate, kind, and gentle, and has a funny humor. Then we had this Family Day, we basically just eat and play at the school, it was all childish sht. Then he sat in front of me, i looked into him all day cause that’s the s*** i do. Then he looked at me blushing and sht wtf? I replayed his face all over me fookin head all day he’s too gorgeous. Then the days goes by he kept sitting right next to me, i said “hey you know you can sit there so you can see the board better” he said “But i wanna sit next to you?” BITCHHHHHHHHHH this boi oh mah lawd, we chat too (we have a groupchat) Josh asked him “hey lad got any girls you like?” He said “Yeah she’s from our row.”
Josh: Eh? There’s a s*** ton of girls in our row
Him: Well she’s here, online.
I was the only one that’s online. Who is a girl. And is from their row. I was f****** squealing like a pig. I love him. You see, im an introvert, i dont talk to ppl that much, the way im talking now is a no-no irl. So if i get a crush, i can hide that sht easy.
Me: Okay then..
Him: Have you eaten yet?
Call me assuming but i think he likes me. Just wanna say, this is just a crush, no fking relationship cause i don’t even know if i can yet, my Mental issues is gonna ruin it for sure.
Those were the happiest months of my life. There’s this day where we got to tell the best decision we’ve ever made. He was sitting next to me so i can read what he’s writing, he was writing when he got out of a abusive relationship from his ex. That moved my heart, and he let my read it cause he said he can trust me. Then i hugged him and said he didn’t deserve those. I have never cared for someone like this, i just want to protect him. But then a my friend Luis confessed to me 3 months ago on the groupchat, everyone was silent. When he said that “i like (my name)”
Luis got to be so fking dumb confessing on the groupchat, he could’ve atleast said to me in private so i can tell him there’s already a guy that i liked but we can still stay friends, but i didn’t answer him so Josh broke the ice and the gc goes on as usual, we don’t talk that much very often since i moved, but i just want to thank him for everything, he made me so happy, he didn’t get disgusted at my scars, and cared for me, he’s a great guy i say so myself. Luis and i still talk these days, just asking bout school works and stuff, k, that’s all, i just want to let this out for once cause it has been a long time i should’ve just forget him and move on, but i can’t and my feelings is still the same as the first time i met him.
