“The one person you try so hard for everyday is suicidal.”
“No… I won’t accept that!”
Her eyes opened, widened into a sea of terror and she felt like crying. How the hell was she supposed to know? That in the end, we weren’t so different. “He had a reason to hate me.”
I was at fault for him feeling those terrifying moments of wishing for pure painless death. Wanting to end It as the mind games were more like mental torture you couldn’t escape from. All the while you were smiling, laughing even, with someone so ignorant who doesn’t even understand how much a bullet is worth. Ever single meaningless word that hit him his wall, huRt. His wall of solitude. And he didn’t say anything. Silence. “Can’t you see that I’m not trying to hurt you? Everytime I open my mouth, everything gets worse!”
We are bombs, ready to explode. Yet I continue to stand. Why? There’s a little voice inside me that says “no.”

I imagine the one person I care about more than anything. Someone who I can’t live, die rather, without. I’ll miss them if I die. I’d rather have one more day with them than any title or prize anyone could give me. They are the only thing stopping me. And I’m just fine with that. They make me feel good. See that “Hey, maybe I don’t want to die.” And if you don’t have that person, live for yourself. Even if you feel like a mistake, or anything lower than low, just know, you’re not alone. I am with you. We can overcome this. We are the kids who everyone told would never become anything. And we did. We became something so significant that our very existence takes up space in this world. People around us notice us out of 7. Something billion people. We are significant. Sure we might not change the world, but who said we had to? Let’s live because. Because why not? Anxiety? Problems? You don’t have to deal with that. I promise. Forgetting and letting go are two very different things. If you forget something, it slips you’re mind and then you remember it. That’s what most people do. It drives them insane. You need to let go. Say, “You know what? Screw everyone.” And just leave it at that. You don’t need to be in a bad mood, just do it. It feels a lot better telling everyone what you’re feeling, rather than saying what they want to hear. A pile of blind preconceived notions we call “standards” and “ideals”. They’re just another way to say “you’re not good enough.” And you know what? It’s okay. It’s all okay. You didn’t wake up early this morning, get up from you’re bed, and go through 8 hours of pure tests and hell with a 1 hour break to meet someone’s standards! You woke up because you wanted, even though you didn’t know it, to exist. You found a reason, even if it’s the stupidest reason ever to exist. That’s amazing in itself. One reason out of infinite ones. That’s worth living for. However you may feel, I hope you think now that you’ll still be living here when you’re old and covered on wrinkles. I really hope so.