I think part of the reason I haven’t killed myself is because I would want to clear everything out before I go. I would want to clean out my room, donate my clothes, return my school books – that kind of thing. But I can’t do that without alerting my family that something is wrong. And even then, they would just think that I was doing it for attention. I tried to talk to my brother about it. I couldn’t say the word “suicide” so he got mad at me and said that I wasn’t really suicidal, I just wanted someone to comfort me. But I couldn’t say the word because if I did I would just start crying.
