Afraid to face how productive I have to be, after failing many times. There’s no real reason to fight, either. So many of you hurting so badly and I have to wonder why there seems to be no God… or maybe this is my ultimate test. I’ve had about all a person should take without being permanently useless. Maybe that will be the next thing. It seems everything I care about is gone and so many times I wonder how to press on. Well I don’t want it to get any harder to change what will be my fate so I’ll ask just one more time if you can help me find the strength to push on. Because I haven’t found anything but misery and there’s got to be more to it than just miserable people…