Tomorrow will be 2 months to the day that my best friend died. He killed himself. And I was the one to find him. His family and friends only have ideas of how he looked. I tell everyone it wasn’t that bad. But it was. He put and double barrelled shotgun in his mouth and squeezed the triggers. His brains were EVERYWHERE! All four walls and the ceiling were covered in his thoughts and emotions and memories. His face was caved in and his head was split in half. I shouldn’t have had to see him like that. But I know that I was meant to be me. Not his mom or sisters, they wouldn’t have been able to handle what I saw. We were best friends for 5 years. He was only 19 years old. I can’t stop thinking about him and what I saw. I thought I was somewhat over it a week or two ago. But lately I cannot think straight. He is all I can think about. I miss him so much. I don’t know how long it is going to take to recover. He was my BEST friend. And now I have no one to talk to like I did when I had him.