It’s been almost 8 years and it still hurts.

I’m not sure what it is about the word “love” that makes people think you mean “ownership” or even “obligation”. For me, it simply meant that, above all, I wanted you to be happy.

I still want that for you. Despite the royal c********** that exploded when I made the mistake of thinking that I could say that I loved you.

Doesn’t matter, really… it hasn’t changed. I begin to think it never will. That’s ok, too… because, after all, it really wasn’t more than my way of saying that I was willing to spend thought on the notion of wanting you to be happy… for life.

So far as I am aware, you are… and this is something that makes me happy. And, most times, it almost soothes the pain of being so terribly mistaken. I guess it’s just that human part that wants to be acknowledged for what I meant rather than the horrible, warped version that you interpreted…

They say time heals it. I’m still waiting, though…. but at least I wait with the knowledge that we’re distant enough that you feel relief and, with any luck, I am rapidly fading into the fog of memory… eventually to be forgotten.

Om Benza Sattva Hung