I’m sorry that the guy you lost your virginity to is in love with me. I’m sorry that I made it clear that I didn’t reciprocate the feelings and you were a rebound. I’m sorry that you didn’t listen when we all warned you. I’m sorry that you went in there willingly – it was all you could talk about for ages. I’m sorry that a h**** teenage boy could not resist your advances. I’m sorry that he broke up with you. I’m sorry that he’s still in love with me. I’m sorry that he drunkenly confessed to me again a week after. I’m sorry I turned him down politely. I’m sorry he told you about it in the morning. I’m so f****** sorry that this is all my fault that you hate me and that I didn’t realise that I could so easily manipulate someone’s feelings, I’ve just been holding back. I’m sorry that that’s why our 6 years of close friendship is on the verge of ruin. And I’m sorry that I feel sorry. Because I shouldn’t.