I know you’re not meant to say things like this, but if I worked out, I’d be kinda hot. I’m lucky in so much as I have a natural hourglass figure, but I’m not toned or anything. I’m 5″6 and exactly 9 stone (which I do believe is something like 126 pounds/ 58 kilograms?) but I’m not like petite or lithe. But, if I worked out, my thighs would get toned, my tummy would be flatter, my arms would be more toned and my love-handles would disappear. I like the idea of how I look when I think about what I’d look like having worked out.
The thing is, I’m kinda scared of starting to exercise. Which sounds dumb, but stick with me on this. I’m scared because I don’t want to become addicted to it and make myself ill. I’ve NEVER struggled with any sort of eating/weight/self-image disorders, but I have an addictive personality. Once I begin something, I take it far too far and find it difficult to give up. I don’t want that to happen over something like exercise and weight, because it can so easily be misconstrued as an eating disorder, or self-image insecurity issues.
I’m also scared that I’ll just flat out fail. I’m scared that I’ll begin and just not be GOOD enough at it. Another flaw – I’m fairly impatient. If I’m not good at something straight away, I get demotivated very quickly. I’m trying to change that, and slowly but surely, I am getting there. But exercise feels a bit different. I want to try it, but I’m scared I won’t be good at it, so will just give up. I know, that’s the opposite of addictive, right?
I don’t really know what to do about it. I don’t know if there’s anything I CAN do about it.