I am afraid I might be pregnant, but I have been taking an antidepressant that is toxic to fetuses, I have drank multiple times, smoked weed, took narcotic pain killers…. if I am pregnant, the baby will be so messed up. I took two home pregnancy tests, and I took them past the time I would normally have my period, but they were both negative. I don’t really have any symptoms of pregnancy except the past few days I’ve been feeling kind of crampy… the last time I’ve had a period, it was in july, and it is now august. The sad part is that I only had s** once in july, and no other times since then or before that (for a very long time at least), since I have vulvodynia so it is very painful. I am married and everything, but I am not ready for kids, not sure if I ever will be, not sure if I even like kids, and now I may possibly have a retarded one. I would just rather get an abortion, but I feel like I could never forgive myself… and I’m too afraid to go to the doctor. And I don’t want to put it up for adoption because most adoptive parents are abusive anyway… I’d be bringing a monster and burden upon society and myself. That isn’t fair to anyone, especially the child. I was on birth control for many years, until I had to switch to mail order, and my doctor keeps neglecting to send the script in. And I don’t want to see a new doctor because I don’t want to tell another doctor that I have herpes. The herpes is why I have vulvodynia in the first place, since the outbreaks have damaged nerves over time. I got herpes before I even lost my virginity because my boyfriend had a cold sore, and I did not know at the time that it could become full blown genital herpes. I will probably never enjoy s** because of that, my husband… as much as I trust him, what man would go his entire life without enjoyable s**? Nah. It’s depressing enough for me, and it would just be the icing on my s*** cake if I was pregnant, with a child I damaged with chemicals. THIS, right here, is why no government should have a say on whether women can terminate their retarded fetuses. F***.