Fifteen years post-graduation, I facebook friended the girl I had a crush on all through high school. I had nothing to offer her then. She knew I liked her and made it clear that nothing was going to happen. We moved to separate sides of the country, found spouses, and started families.

With one big exception. I landed a job I love that also pays very, very well. She is struggling. Most of her posts are about how she hates her job, and how she can’t pay her bills.

I wish I had the nerve to proposition her for some photos. You send me the pictures of you that I’ve lusted to see all of these years, and I send you cash. God I wish I knew if she would go for it.

But I can’t. If she got offended and blocked me, she would be out of my life forever. And I need this facebook connection, even if it is just a small way to have her in my life.