I feel like I’m constantly fighting with the girl who’s supposed to be my best friend. She’s almost the opposite of me in public…but when she’s not being stressed or insecure there are sometimes where I feel like she’s my soulmate. But we just started college and so much s*** has happened, she’s not talking to me now and not telling me why. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t ben paying attention to her as much anymore, or if I messed up really bad on that night I got blackout drunk, but it’s not like shes only had perfect drunk nights, not made out with my friend in front of me, not dated some a****** I knew was bad for her since the year we met. I’ve always had these irrational deep feelings for her and I know she has them for me. Had them I guess now. I still don’t know how she blames it all on me for a s***** prom night when inwardly she kew she’d have a terrible time and said yes when I asked her anyway. She always acts so confident but when the hammer falls she’s so incredibly different and acts so afraid, so weak. and I feel like shes so scared to face it sometimes she lashes out and throws up barriers that dont represent what an amazing girl she is and it makes me so f****** frustrated. and then I make my personal mistakes and I say things I don’t mean, behind her back and I feel like an a****** because I’m not there for her. But she doesn’t even want my help if I’d offer it, it’d make her look weak she’d probably say. So I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. and now I’m sitting here without my best friend.