When I was 8 was when I first started self harming. I had no idea what I was doing but I would just get this urge and the pain helped . Most the time I would dig my nails into my skin or burn myself or give myself a bruise. I stopped for awhile until about 3 years ago when my parents got divorced. My father was an abuser and things where really bad at the time. That was when I started cutting and bruising myself again. I got a bunch of razor blades from a friend of mine.(she had no idea what I would use them for though). I cut all over my thighs, arms, ankles, shoulders, ect. I didn’t know what to do and I was in a lot of pain. I still am. I’ve been through therapy and counseling and I’m getting better I really am… but now if I show the slightest bit of anger or sadness everyone freaks out and starts saying I’m suicidal or I’m gonna start cutting again. I haven’t self harmed in one year. Not once. Last night when I was going through an old jacket of mine I found an old razor. I don’t know why but I’m afraid I’m going to hurt myself. It scares me and I can’t tell anyone. I need to throw it away. But…It’s just too. Damn. Hard.
