12 years
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I like myself pretty well, I think I’m pretty awesome, and I’m pretty independent. But I’m out of college now, have never had a significant other or any kind of “romantic encounter,” and I want so badly to be wanted. I always figured I’d be one to wait for marriage before having s**, mainly because I get strong enough feelings for people even without hormones driving me crazy… so I want to protect myself. I always want to protect myself because I’ve been hurt too many times. But I really just want closeness and intimacy with someone. But I also have big dreams for myself, and am afraid of one thing messing with the other. I really just want to have my “firsts” so that I can make the realization that it really isn’t a big deal, and I can just go out and have fun after that until I actually have time to settle down. But I want my firsts to be special. This is so complicated and overwhelming. I don’t know. Life will be easier when I go to grad school in a year’s time (aka no more living with parents).

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