My husband has cancer. It’s the most benign form of leukemia, so his prognosis is good, and I’m hoping for many more years with him.

We have a son who had cancer once, so I understand how important it is to give the cancer patient as much control over the situation as you can possibly give him/her. So, my husband has complete control over who knows and when.

So far, that’s no one but me. He knows he has to tell our children at some point, but he isn’t telling them for now.

This means I can’t tell anyone. Not anyone. Because it would be awful for our children to hear it from a third party. It’s tough, because that means there’s no one to pour out the anxiety, the sadness, the hope with. I do talk with my husband, but my job there is to keep his spirits up, and to be positive. So, with him, anything that isn’t upbeat or positive has to be kept hidden. The last thing he needs is a wife with tears in her eyes right now.

Thank you for letting me pour it out a little bit here. I’ve been feeling like I’m going to go slightly insane. Can’t sleep at night. Anxious, tight feeling in my stomach today that I can’t shake.