I hate my ex so much. After dating for so long, after feeling the betrayal as she used me and left me, I feel like she took something for me. I've been

12 years

131 Views

I hate my ex so much. After dating for so long, after feeling the betrayal as she used me and left me, I feel like she took something for me. I’ve been off center for so long now that when I dont feel any sort of apathy, i’m filled with a sense of low boiling rage. When this happens, I think that I would like terrible things to happen to her, I would want her to feel the hopelessness and dull apathy I feel now. It makes me wish she would have panic attacks, or bouts of depression, the kind of numbing depression I have gotten used to. I don’t know if it’s that I miss her, or that I am confliced on how to get over her, but these sick wishes that she ruin herself seep into the deepest parts of me, and fester in my mind until I think I am the horrible person I know she is. She used me for the experience, treated me like dirt when things got serious, then finally left me when I told her she was treating me like s***. I thought I loved you, and I still think of how you would hold my arm to your chest, the feeling of your warm hands around my arm, and the way your olive skin would glow in the sunlight. Now though, I wish your olive skin goes dull, I wish you feel hopeless, alone, and used by whatever b****** can put up with you.

New Confession

I hate that the women I want to have se.x with, you have to get to know them first and build a rapport. You can’t just say ‘Come to bed with me’ you have to talk about and do a bunch of unrelated s.hit that has nothing to do with s.ex. And even then, after all that you might not get them into bed.

Related Confessions

God not only removed the wrong person in my life but another person connected that was an evil and dangerous criminal God ended their life. I forgive but I am wondering what this person would’ve done had they not passed away. This person wanted to use my relatives address to send me a letter but my relative said they were not getting involved in drama. Had God protected me from more emotional damage or did he prevent a fight or a murder from happening? I don’t mean any disrespect. I do forgive but I am thankful this person can no longer cause chaos or harm to anyone. I still get curious what this person would’ve said in the letter but at the same time I’m thankful God is keeping me safe. God is good all the time. I also one morning said that I’m going to church and that early morning God told me that he was going to give me money for offering and I simply said,Ok God. I go to church with my brother with a developmental disability. Just right before service, this lady that was the piano player that I’ve never met or seen before handed the usher $20 to hand to us. I asked, who gave it to me? What’s it for? He said the piano lady gave it to me and my brother and that we can decide on what to do with it or use it as offering but it was entirely up to us. Without a second thought I placed that $20 bill in the offering. God will bless his own children.