Hi, I’m 18 years old and I’m a sinner… I’ve lied, I’ve lust, I’ve envied, I’ve fornicated, I’ve abominated. Sighs! I always thought why do I have to be this person.. I’ve always tried to b a good person and done a good deed but I’m young and everyday I feel like I’m suffering!
When I was about 3-5 years old, my older cousin use to molest me a lot. I was smart enough to know that what he was doing was wrong and I shouldve told my mom but I didn’t.. Up till this day, not one of my family members knew what hedid to me.. I forgave him so iI thought it was okay.. But when I sit and think about it, I very a lot and blame him for what iI’m going through
now.
I’ve lied a lot.. Sometimes I believe that everything I say is a lie. Sometimes I don’t even have to lie but I do it anyways. And end up feeling that I’m never going to be a good person.
Most times I believe people take my kindness for weakness and treat me bad and I take it anyways. Its like.. I never have a say in anything or anything I say turns out to be bad so its better I shut my mouth. So I’ll just stay by myself most a the times and don’t speak so I become this secretive person. And having a really hard time trusting anyone..
When I was in 9th grade, I was truly in love with one of my close friends who is a girl. I didn’t know if she liked me back because I didn’t tell her how I felt.. And I continued to think that those feelings I had for her was right but they weren’t.. They were an abomination.. Up until 11th grade I was still in love with her and no one had knew until I told another friend whose also a girl.. She was quite okay with it as I had found put that she had a girlfriend.. Knowing that info, I started liking her too but didn’t tell her until when we were going off to Christmas holidays and she told me she felt the same.. I was in love and that was the first time I’ve ever felt like that in my life.. Until after graduation I ended it Cuz it didn’t feel right anymore and I hated the feeling that I’m a sinner.. I cried and from that day I cannot fall in love with a man even wen I tried.. To be able to love a man is the right thing but its like I’ve been cursed. I can’t love a man and I’m in love with woman but cannot have *** with any.. I’ve admitted to myself that I’m a *** or bisexual but then I have this other mind that tells me that I’m not and this mind always manage to over come the bad mind so it stops me from coming out as one of those..but I’m not happy..I can’t love a man nor be with wat my heart wants! I just need a clear conscience…
and that was my confession… For everything I’ve done in my life! I’m really and truly SORRY!! I beg for the forgiveness of everyone and most importantly, The Lord! Thank you.