I hate having to bottle up the pain inside, but I have to stay strong… even if I am so alone. My mom is sick and getting worse as the year passes. I am stuck with a job that keeps adding new unnecessary drama to everyone’s life. I am sick of smiling and acting like my pain is no big deal. I’m starting to break down… and it’s becoming apparent that I want to really end it all….But I know I can.. that’s too selfish and weak. My mom needs me and I can’t just abandon her or my brother. I have to figure it out… even when I am crying inside… even when I feel like dying and just going to sleep. I hate this… I’m 22 and I just want to really stop time and hide away.