I both love and hate my family members. It wasn’t television that gave me this idea that family is supposed to be there to help each other out- it’s my heart and soul. The fact that they are so fundamentally different makes me feel like an alien on a desolate planet full of fire and brimstone. To be quite honest, I would feel better if I could push myself to get extra strong and then never be considerate of their feelings again. My life is a living hell. I push forward because there are beautiful bittersweet moments, but all-in-all it is a gauntlet for me and every day people make me wretch. With so many hurting people out there I am kind in general and that’s just not what I get. You’re all out there shitting on your neighbor or seeing how much pain you can inflict- not realizing that the pain goes in circles and makes its way back to you just like the laws of physics.