I get very panicked about things sometimes, about what I say and do and if it’s polite enough or relevant enough. Sometimes, If I do something that I feel is wrong I’ll punish myself by not eating or by dancing (I bboy) and purposefully falling so I get bruised and hurt. I can remember things from 10 years back that I’m still anxious about, little things like how I introduced myself or shook someone’s hand. But they never go away, and I can’t stop this pattern it’s the only way I know how to live with myself.