Every night I cry… right before I go to sleep. I hold all of my anger and sadness in during the day, and let it out at night so no one questions me. I’ve been lying to my mom about how I am. “I’m okay, everything’s fine.” when in reality I’m not okay at all. Where are my friends, huh? They said they’d be around when I needed them… To top it off, my love life is quite a mess. I might still think my ex… whom probably doesn’t love me at all anymore. We talk as if nothing happened between us, but I guess that’s for the best. In a way, I just think maybe it’s the idea of him that I miss. Someone who’d be there for me, someone to talk to all the time, someone I can really vent to amdactially help me out, give me advice. …And then there’s my friend, my good friend, my best friend… I fell for him this year. I’ve made many stupid mistakes with him… and right now, I’m angry at him. He kissed me… and I swore for a minute that it was actually real, that he liked me too… but come to find out that he has a girlfriend… Why does he like to put me in situations like this? Is he just taking advantage of the fact that I really like him? I don’t get it. And so when I vented to him… told him how I felt, he had no comment… no opinion toward it. He didn’t tell me about his girlfriend, he never told me to just stop liking him and move on. He has me here waiting for him… does he enjoy this? I feel like his pet… he knows I’ll be there whenever he needs me… My friends tell me I shouldn’t talk to him anymore, and one friend tells me I should keep waiting… but not to put my feelings out there… to not let him know how I’m feeling. It’s very hard, as I’m one to vent, so I’ve cried a lot since then, 2 nights ago being the worst… I really like this guy, I do… Shame he can’t realize that.

Thank God for this site because without it, I’d just be lying in bed crying about everything. It’s nice to let it out.