I have a son to another woman that only my wife and family knows about. My wife’s family don’t know out of her fear of their reaction and pain at having to acknowledge it. He’s 4. She has a new partner and they are expecting their own child. I pay more than my share of child support but I only see him for an hour or so 2 to 4 times a month. My relationship with the mother is quite cold. I feel painful confusion and guilt over whether or not I should be more involved and it makes me feel like s***.