I’ve been overweight and ugly my entire life. I kept telling myself that one day I would lose this weight and be attractive. All through my teens and 20s, while my friends were dating beautiful women, I was scraping the bottom of the barrel – once or twice a year dates with equally ugly women.

I finally settled for a semi-descent looking woman with a kid. We’ve had two more kids together, so my family is fairly big by modern standards. I love my children, and I love my wife, but there is always that voice in the back of my head telling me:

– She only married me because I didn’t run from her when I found out she had a kid, and
– I will NEVER know what it’s like to be with an attractive person.

These thoughts came to the front of my mind today as I took my children to an indoor playground at an upscale mall. They were at the play area, and I was at the Starbucks by myself.

The mall was FULL of 20-something model-quality women. And not a single one of them even glanced my direction. I am a complete non-s***** being to them, and I hate it. I hate that my chances of ever getting a second look from someone like that are over. I’m only in my 30s, but my chances of ever being one of those guys who can get a woman to approach him for a change are through.