I’m not sure why I am here. The answers are so obvious, but I’m too stubborn. I see it, but I am still letting my pride, or maybe my love, get the best of me. My heart is broken. The man that I have been with doesn’t respect me. I have been reduced to feeling inadequate, unloved, and useless. The thing is, he knows just when to say the right thing… It’s confusing. A roller coaster. It’s almost as if he’s purposely doing this. I have always been a giving person when it comes to love. Whether it be a family member, friend, or partner. I’ve always thought my love was a well with no threat of depletion…but it seems as if my well is drying up. I feel like a horrible person for even saying that. It’s incomprehensible how loving he can be, when he wants to be….it’s deplorable how hateful he can be. I’m starting to feel invisible; like I’m here only when he finds it beneficial to him. My values, my morals, my beliefs, he doesn’t respect them. He’s changed so much. The start of our relationship, and 8 months after, he revealed a better side of him.After our one year mark is when he drastically changed. I know everyone has their demons…but the extremities that the facets of personality lie are worlds away from one another. I have tried to convince myself that I am over thinking it, that I am in the wrong (I am the first person to point out my character flaws), but no matter which way I look, I am seeing him as my issue. I know no tangible thing will make you happy; you can’t be happy until you decide to be…but I am sure that the disrespect I have been experiencing is the blight of sleep. I lie awake in bed at night, unable to sleep…It has been two weeks since the huge falling out between the two of us, and I have had a total of 19 hours of sleep since that day. My eyes are becoming lifeless, but no matter how much I try to sleep, I either dream of the things he’s done, or am plagued by my mind repeating them to me, and I am forced to stay awake. Since that day, he has made his cheap shots and low blows, all of which has played a part in me feeling so hurt. He’s convinced me that I am nothing without him, and even though I know, deep down, that that isn’t true, my heart and my mind will not let me leave. I am already feeling better….getting that all out. It’s not like he listens to me.