I feel like the last 12 years of my life have been a big downward spiral with nobody to catch my fall. I have got to stop this from happening. This was not supposed to be my fate. Not me. The only thing I can do is go forward. You’re so right. Why can’t you love me though… it hurts. I am so inferior right… that’s like dumping gasoline on a blaze. I hate this life and what it has shown me and I intend to at least find the greatest pride in myself if my health holds out that long.