I worked a night job the whole time I was in high school to help my mom out financially, and after graduation I worked and went to college. Then I dropped out of college and worked 2 jobs, and at one time 3 jobs, to help her make ends meet. After I got married my husband and I had to live with my mom for financial reasons, and we both continued to help her, without saving anything for our own future. Half a year ago we finally moved out on our own, and it has been wonderful. We aren’t wealthy at all but we manage to scrape by and are able to afford groceries and we are able to afford an internet connection, plus electric bills and rent on our small place, etc. Sometimes it gets tight, and we don’t really have anything extra, but we’re making it. We’re happy.

My mom is still struggling. Her home of the last 12 years was foreclosed on, which comes as no surprise. She and my adult sister, who is 5 years older than me and pregnant by some random guy, has no job and is a total lazy leech, moved into another place. The place is way too big for them, the rent is almost as much as the house payment my mom was struggling to make before, and I cautioned her against moving in there because of the cost (and I KNEW my sister wasn’t going to keep her promise to get a job and help pay the bills). Well, she did anyway. I think she panicked because she was afraid she wouldn’t find another place before they kicked her out of the old house. But anyway, bad decision.

She claims that she’s behind because of some set backs with the phone company, but I’m beginning to think my dear mother who I do love with all my heart, is just really bad at managing money, and tries to live beyond her means. I know she’s poor, I lived my whole life poor, but she should be in a smaller house. She would have smaller rent, smaller electric bills, etc. She should kick my lazy sister out because my mom doesn’t need to be supporting her sorry a**. She should tell her get a job and help out, or get out… but she won’t. And my sister wastes groceries, energy, never cleans anything, and adds lots to the monthly bills just by living there, I’m sure.

I hate that my mom is struggling, I really do. But we can’t help her. We have our own problems, our own bills. There’s nothing extra to give her an I know from experience that even if I bail her out and give her $1000, she will never get ‘caught up’. My husband has given her such an amount twice, and both times it was a matter of weeks before things were the same as before. And if she does have to leave her house (she’s totally not open to the idea of finding anoher place to rent- I tried to talk to her about it and she insisted she couldn’t afford anywhere else either) i’m afraid she’ll ask to live with us. I’m torn. I always said I’d help my mom out if she needed it, I’d give her a place to stay… but after 26 years of living with her, and her negativity, and her poor management of money… I’m finally in my own place with my husband, we finally have privacy, we’re finally happy and thinking about our future. I love my mom but if she moves in with us, there goes our privacy. There goes our ability to get by. there goes having our own place our way. and what about my sister? there’s no room for her, and I refuse to live with her again, I don’t care if she is pregnant. She has stolen from me on many occasions and I know she won’t do anything to help the household.

Am I a bad daughter and sister? What should i do? 🙁