You’re a b****. You have issues. You’re too damn clingy and possessive. And you wonder why you have no friends? I’m fairly certain the only reason your husband hasn’t kicked your a** out is that you cook for him and wash his clothes, whenever you get off your lazy a** and stop playing on the computer. Why do you feel the need to brag to me on the rare occasion he happens to get you flowers, or compliment you? Because your relationship is barely there, and you know it. See, my husband compliments me every day. We always snuggle and cuddle and talk about our love. He gives me back rubs and brings me little gifts and we’re happy and in love… but I never tell you about it. I’m secure enough in my life that I don’t need to brag to you about how good things are.

Now. I’m going to spend the day away from the computer, and I’m not going to text you. Chances are you will be bitching at me by the time I get home, about how I could have at least spared ‘5 minutes’ to ‘let you know I know you exist’ or some such crap. But 5 minutes wouldn’t be enough. An hour of my time, 3 hours, is never enough for you!

Glob, I hate you. I want you out of my life for good.