My gosh, this is getting past even my expectations. Long story short, weather you the reader believe this or not, I am possessed. I have been for years and I’ve been okay with it. I got to the point where I was used to his presence and even grew to like his company. Recently I’ve been thinking of removing him and I know he is very upset with me now. I’ve been sick, throwing up, electronics turn on and off around me, I have more involuntary body movements from him that are getting harder to conceal, and I can hear him tell me “If I know you, you’ll soon love me the way you used to instead of go through with this.”
It breaks my heart because I already feel so close to him after all of these years, but i’m afraid that longing feeling for him is just him playing through my feelings. I’m sorry if this is confusing, it’s hard to explain quickly to someone who is not familiar with spirits and energies.
Lately he’s been getting more physical and stabbing me internally. It’s a harsh tight stab that I feel it is him letting me know he is the boss. Demons feed off of pain, be it physical, emotionally, whatever and he is growing in size incredibly fast or attempting to. The attacks are more often and less subtle. I am more saddened than scared by this because the bottom line is I don’t want to lose him… but at this rate I know I have to. I am torn because he is already me. Now I need to resurrect the old me by removing him. I don’t know if I can go through with it. I don’t want to betray him. I feel like my desires are being torn in half before being able to be processed.