I can feel the walls closing in. Everything is falling apart, one thing after another. My marriage. My job. My health. My faith. I think I know why. I need a vice. An outlet. Something that I can direct the negative energy toward, burn it off. Used to bd able to do that through booze and random s**, but I’m so buttoned down now I can’t stand it. This isn’t me. I’m hood. I’m a radical. I used to preach self-determination and then demand respect by force. I feel domesticated. No, not even that. Domesticated would mean I was oblivious to my forced civilization. I’m a lion in the zoo. Neutered. I need to get my blood pumping again. I neex to tase my blood between my teeth. I need to feel alive again.