I hate it. I’m so deep into not knowing who I am anymore I don’t even know if I’m actually depressed and putting on a happy face or if my happy and just want attention. I know I hate most things in my life. No one gives me the time of day I have a few friends but I like the small circle and I love my family members even though they’ll never understand. All I ever wanted is for people to listen. But no one listens to a nobody because all nobody’s say is nothing I guess. I try not to judge and if I do judge a person I still treat them fairly. But people judge me and constantly mess with my emotions. They joke around and tease me but they there’s more hate than love coming to me in every way. So all I do is just store the hate. I said hey everybody likes music so I’ll be a singer and people will have to listen. Wrong. The people I wanted approval from don’t care about me at all. So I got into the mindset of not needing approval. If I just focus on what I want I can be happy right. Wrong again. No matter how much I try to stay away from others and focus on myself it doesn’t matter. There’s 7 billion people in world who really wants to help a nobody. I’m stuck in this stupid circle. I want to change the world I want to gather people like me and unite everyone so there is only one race. The human race. Size doesn’t matter. Strength doesn’t matter. Money is gone. We can all simply help each other simply because we will need help eventually. I want to change the works through music seeing as how it’s easy to communicate with. But I can’t because no one listens. And since no one listens I have no confidence too speak. It’s tough to be a silent hero. Everyone with minor problems blow them up simply because they never had a real problem before and those with real problems hide them because no one wants to hear. If we seek help we’re just craving attention. It’s not fair. Life can be fair if we choose to live it fairly. It took a village to raise the kid.. But one they’re an adult where do all the villagers go. I always get judged because I’m a thinker. I get told I’m not black because I’m proper and smart. Why aren’t I accepted within my own race because I only speak when I have something to say.. Why am I constantly judged and faulted when all I want to do is live peacefully. It’s not right. We didn’t ask to live. The lease we should be able to do is live without the fear of others hurting us. I hate my life not because I don’t like living but because I hate the people I’m living with. I hate them for making me feel bad about being me and thinking absolutely nothing of it. How can you destroy someone’s life and smile about it. It’s not fair. Everyone thinks I’m weak and quiet and I have no problems but words hurt just as much as fists do and being hit with them both back to back is traumatizing. I can’t even cry anymore I thought letting my feelings out here would trigger something but at passionate as I sound I can’t even shed a tear. As severely depressed as I am.. I can’t even let it out.