I’m 5’7 so hardly a giant and I’m so pissed off that no out fitters cater for my short legs. I’m a 30′ 30′ 30 inch waist 30 in the legs and it’s embarrassing trying on a 30 leg and i’m two inches over. In Adult sizes the smallest they do is 30′ in the leg.

Well excuse the f*** out of me for not being a fat b******, 36 28 is no problem but not 30′ 28′. I’m like Johnny Bravo, large up top and slim down below with teeny legs. I kitted myself out today with new clothes and all I needed was jeans to finish the ensemble. No can do, I’m sick of making a joke of it ‘I’ll try the kids section or wear stilts then’

The current trend is loose fit, I don’t want jeans hanging off my shoes. Top to tail I’m f***** gorgeous but I can’t stand any sort of wrinklage in trouser wear. I do not do folds! period. People of Earth you have been warned.