i am hurt by all the things i have missed out on. i am 47 and own nothing and never been in a relationship. used wooden crates as furniture for years, sleep on cardboard in winter and drink hot water with pepper and bread dinner most nights cuz its quick and easy often go without food as i can’t afford it. suffer depression and mental illness and always expected to put others before my own needs. i am s** starved and shut down. i am angry and have weird habits and disorders. i have no friends.