I confess that I let a so called “friend” ruin something important to me, because of her petty jealousy and immature tendencies.This “friend” is in her 50s, a grow woman, yet she acts like a spoiled brat most of the time. I don’t know why I still maintain this friendship but I put it down to some sort of mental issue on my part. She has some sort of control over me and though I despise her, I can’t seem to find the spine to totally kick her out of my life. For some reason she has the ability to make me feel horrible about myself even though I know I shouldn’t put any stock in what she says.

There is a creative event that involves working on a creative project solo while gaining support from a community of other artists. I was so excited and loved this event. I would participate every year. I excitedly told her about it and tried to convince her to join up and do it too Well, the first year she tried she failed badly. The next year when I was preparing for it she made a point to tell me she didn’t like it, she didn’t like for me to do it, and I shouldn’t do it because it ‘took me away’ from important things in my life- of course she meant only herself. She couldn’t stand that I would spend time doing something fun on my own, without her.

I kept participating in the following years and I just didn’t tell her. But with each passing year the burden of knowing I had to hide something I really love doing from someone who was ‘supposed’ to be my ‘best friend’ just started to ruin it for me. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I was doing something I should be proud of, but I was o afraid of her criticism and passive-aggresive attitude. The last two years I have tried and failed, totally lacking inspiration with the thought of her looming over me like a shadow.

So there is my confession. I’m a cowardly worm who lets a b**** control my happiness, even when she doesn’t say or do anything because she doesn’t know what’s going on. I’m ashamed of myself for this.