I am in my 30s and have always been the “fat guy”. In school, no girl every looked at me as dating material. For some, I was friend-zone material, but for most I was just ignored. I had to sit there and watch girl after girl that I liked date total jerks, then complain to me about it.

I moved across the country after high school, and lost contact with everyone from my hometown. Over the next 16 years, I worked myself into a $200K salary with a job I love, three beautiful children, and a wife who, honestly, I settled for out of fear of dying alone. But she’s been good to me.

Just a few months ago, I got a facebook account and re-connected with people from high school. And what do I see? Most of the girls I liked are single mothers, struggling to pay their bills. It’s hard not to laugh when I see the one I liked the most – Leslie – posting pictures of her children, with a “single” relationship status and her occupation as “waitress”. Ha! How do you like me now? The next time I’m back in my hometown, I’m going to come to your restaurant, make sure that you are my waitress, and see if you remember me.

But some of the women I liked ended up marrying guys who are even fatter than me. I’m like, “WTF? You end up with that fat, bald, poor guy, when you could have had me – the fat, rich guy.”