I realize this is a bad wish. I just wish I was alone and didn’t know anyone at all. I’m already a shut in but it’s not enough for me. I wish I didn’t know my family or early school mates. I have to change for them. I just wish I could run though the trees naked, singing, doing whatever whenever. My entire life I’ve been pretending to be someone else and i’m so tired of changing for these people. At the same time I don’t want to hurt them. I wish for things so different from the norm, and I’m so tired of pretending I want something else for their sake. Doing what I want i’d be labeled ‘insane’, ‘crazy’, ‘stupid’, and ‘childish’ or ‘unrealistic.’ I’m tired of hearing that. I know my reasoning even if nobody else does, and in the long run, VERY LONG RUN, you may too. But you may not. How I wish I could be free to do as I please. But I know that I can’t. I’ll always just be everyone’s sturdy grounded bridge. Never my own spiritual medicine man floating through the woods.