I feel like I cannot escape because of my family’s monetary situation even though we are far from poverty. I am slowly turning into my father but I simply cannot accept it. I want to write and everyone says I am good but I hate every word I type. I am sick of being alone and the last person I dated was over a year ago and it was for her to get revenge on someone else. I fear that I am socially abnormal though I know I am not really. I cannot believe what is created in the modern days and how much more creative I feel I am in comparison. I have briefly contemplated suicide but never would do it. I refuse to take medications because I feel like I am too smart and strong to require them- I think I should be able to Beautiful Mind the depression away. I am addicted to p***. I haven’t talked to someone my own age in almost a two days and I am constantly amazed at how dumb but successful some people are. I connect more with characters on tv shows than real life. I am afraid to follow mydream