I have such a wicked bad headache that I can’t seem to shake. I feel extremely petty and being in a big city does not seem to be for me. I’ve done such stupid things that I can’t forgive myself from. The hatred towards myself centers on the outside of my ears and presses against my chest. My eyes feel dead and my whole body seems frozen in a block of ice. I feel myself underneath struggling pressing against a wall that won’t move. I hate my body even though I have a fine body and no health issues except this seemingly insurmountable stress. I don’t get how people can just zip around with briefcases and coffees in their hand and feel a sense of duty, calling and love. Maybe that’s the worst, the needless unending comparing of myself with others all. The. Time. I’m not even sure what I’m confessing, maybe that I feel that I’ve given up all hope and I don’t know why.