This is the day I let go. I am letting go of someone I love that doesn’t love me back. It’s been nearly 4 years since we’ve last talked. It was mostly an argument but I apologized, I tried to show her how I feel, I really did. In the end I guess it wasn’t enough, and instead of just moving on which is what I was told by several ppl to do I guess I had this crazy idea inside my head that maybe, just maybe someday she’d forgive me and love me too.

I have no way of contacting her. I know where she lives, but not exactly. I used to think about moving there so I could try to find her, as if fate would someone bring us together again.

I used to pretend that we were together. I imagined us making love, making out, going on dates and the conversations we’d have with each other. I guess it was easier because even if I was pretending, at least I was with her in my dreams. But now, it’s too painful to even pretend. We’re both getting older and I am tired of feeling sad and jealous of family and friends who are happy in relationships will I wish for someone whose last words were f*ck off. I may not be perfect-I know I’m not. I may not be the most attractive person in the world-though I know I’m not the ugliest. There is this other person that I believe deep down she wishes and thought I was. This person, though no particular fault of her own in someway will always come between us. I want to live my life and be happy. She is my first love. I still love her and I may always love her, but I deserve a piece of my own happiness, and I want someone to love me the same way I love her. So if I am not that someone for her, then I’m letting go and I wish her all the best and happiness. I hope to someday find my own…