I what more friends. I have one friend, and the rest are acquaintances. She’s a great friend, but she won’t be crazy with me. I want a friend that I can dance to rock and roll with without shame, I can tell my troubles to, and will be effing honest about what she wants! Not the, “I don’t care,” or, “whatever you feel like,” because when you are at my house, it’s my responsibility to make sure you have a good time. And if you would rather bake, than play Legos, than TELL ME.
Also the I have a crush on her brother Nathan. Yes it is the Nathan in the confession immediately below. So when they come over to play Nathan comes too. My mom thinks he comes for my brother, but the hangouts wouldn’t be the same for me too if he didn’t show up. I think he likes me too. But we both come from Christian families, he is a year younger than me(by one year and nine months), and crushes are frowned upon in my family. If I told my mom, our families’ relationships would be messed up(you’ll see just how close they are further down). Honestly Nathan and I have just a little bit more in common than his sister.
And Nathan’s friend defiantly has a crush on me, and Nathan knows it. Samuel (that’s his name) even touched the side of my belly and said, “are you ticklish?” I had a mouthful of food, and said, “no! Actually I am but…” Samuel just walked away. I have zero feelings for Samuel, and I think that Nathan saw that happen. It happened at youth group.
And as mentioned in an earlier post Nathan and his father deceived Nathan’s mom. But there’s more to it than that.
My mom and dad had been getting emails from Nathan’s mom about her husband. Stuff like the fact he’ll disappear for 12 hours without telling anyone where he was. The fact that he’ll buy ice cream that is made up of two different servings. He stole the password to the xbox from his wife and used it with Nathan while she and my friend were out. Nathan’s dad even caused such a commotion that the rest of the family stayed at a hotel for three days.
Obviously I’ve been sneak-reading these emails, and I want to comfort my friend but don’t know how to without saying id been snooping. And even she doesn’t know all the details sent in the email.
And at discipleship group(it’s me, her, another girl, and the leader/friend.) she said she was in fear of her and her BROTHER’S relationship because of the xbox password thing, she completely minimized the fact that her father deceived, kept a secret, lied, and led the whole plot, against his WIFE. a person he was supposed to take care of.
It’s just a whole mess and this is the only place I can say anything, because I had a crush once and told my mom, and she was no comfort, my dad cares to much for me to waste my love, and my youth leader would tell my parents.

I just read through what I wrote and realized how one thing led to another, and it said everything. Please comment and give me advice. I need help!