No one in my family is my friend. I can’t talk to anyone. My father is extremely mean, my brother is an annoying brat, and my mother betrays me. She was the only person in the family I thought I could talk to, but I’m reminded sometimes that she doesn’t understand me like I thought she did, even when I talk to her a lot about personal subjects.

None of my friends are my family. The other day, a friend of mine wrote some bad things about me in my yearbook (in permanent marker), and then proceeded to call me a b**** behind my back to my other friends and people I don’t know. The day after, my best friend was suddenly mad at me for a joke I made that was not offensive in the least. If you can’t make joking statements to your best friend who usually understands what you mean without saying a word, who can you joke with? I’ve been becoming distant with all my friends which may be a side effect of moving away this summer. I don’t want to go, but it seems like I’ll have to anyways, just for the sake of all my broken relationships.

My ex-boyfriend lied to me about everything. He lied to me about who he was. He lied to me about how he was. He lied to me about the drugs. He lied to me about the alcohol. He lied to me. He disappeared after our 6-month point in the relationship because his brother (who had to tell me all this) had to “chase his drunk a** out of the house” after my ex threatened his entire family with a knife. He hasn’t been seen since this occurrence three months ago. At first I wasn’t mad, just extremely disappointed. Now I’m just realizing how much this has hurt me.

And through it all, death is not an option.