I just realized how alone I am. Even though I have people who care for me…. I just can’t talk to them. My best friend is engaged to a man who doesn’t want me in her life. I can’t even tell her this, because she so blinded. Everyday, at work I put on a smile…. I’m so sick of smiling and being cheerful. I just want to cry and be left alone… but at the same time I want someone to save me from this drowning feeling. I am so tired of just sitting here, but at the same time It feels like I’m t****** and can’t move. I’ve been taking medication for depression, I’ve done yoga, meditate, hypno… everything. But I know that sadness is still there and it just won’t go away. I am trying hard to let it go and go away but it won’t. I work every day to forget it……. but It won’t go away.