i said to myself i would quit and not do it, but i fell victim to the urge last night and took another pill. those pills are not good for me but ease headache and help me sleep and stay calm but side effects later are rotten. I want to give up this meds for long term health reasons and this meds make me gain weight. but they make me feel good to cope with the stress and discontent in my life i face so much heartache and stress. trying to relax is difficult for me. I am even stressed over good things happening for me and a sense of out of control or fear or guilt over changing the house around with renovations everything feels surreal and in upheaval and chaotic then I wake up and feel worried my life is un-recognizable as my own. fear comes over me to take the nice things in life because I have been so used to the bad stuff.