I could fall on my knees and pray every day until I die that I am sorry for what I have done. I could post it here in front of strangers to feel I got it out. Nothing will take away what I did. But I vow change. Albeit not enough and too little too late. I just plead for redemption. Once i start again i will never look down or i dont deserve to live anymore. This never should have played out like this or gone on this long. It’s been 13 years. Oh my god. I’ve never hurt anyone but me. How could i. I am so sorry. Forgiveness isn’t in me. I have a lot of work to do